Bringing up the idea to your mate.
I would like to start swinging but I'm not sure how to bring
the idea to my mate?
Most people are hesitant to bring up their fantasies to
their mate in fear of how they will react. Make sure you
fire up your mates self esteem. You remember how it was
when you first met, all those goofy little sentimental things
you used to do to let them know they were your number 1.
You have to be confident in your relationship. If you or
your spouse are the jealous type.....if you get upset when
someone is checking out your mate in public, stop right
here, swinging is probably not for you at this time. I'm
a firm believer you have to have 100% trust or it will just
tear your relationship apart.
you have gotten past the last part and you are ready to
bring up the idea but just not sure how. Try bringing it
up as a dream. We all know you can't control your dreams
and they are pretty blameless. Hell, I had a dream the other
night that I was having sex with my ex wife. I'd cut Thor
(insert masculine penis name) off before that would ever
happen. Watch how he/she reacts, if they don't come off
with a sharp "that would never happen" they may
be receptive to the idea. If they don't offer a response
ask if they have ever dreamed or thought about it.
can also try renting a movie in which couples are swapping
and watch them together. I can't think of any particular
one off the top of my head at this time but, hell, if you
have cable I'm sure you'll find something. Again watch your
mates reaction to see if they seem receptive.
so you've gotten past bringing up the idea. Your mate is
receptive to the idea and you want to get started. Wait!
make sure you discuss it for a few weeks before going any
further and whatever you do don't nag them about it if they
don't want to talk about it. That will only turn them against
Set some ground rules
Okay we've talked about it now what?
I have heard all kinds of rules couples make. There is no
specific set of rules of what you have to do, but, make
sure you have discussed what is acceptable with you and
your mate. Examples may be no kissing, not separating, no
same sex (bisexual) or opposite sex contact. Just remember
the rules can be anything you want them to be, but, when
meeting other couples you need to be upfront from the beginning
of what is or isn't acceptable to you and your mate.
Where do we meet people
Where do we meet people?
I think the most comfortable thing about meeting others
over the net is anonymity. Most of us worry about what others
will think if someone found out about our lifestyle, then
their are some of us that just don't give a darn.
have found the net to be an excellent place to meet new
friends. Let's face it, most of are pretty nice people
that don't like to hurt others feelings. By trading pictures
and chatting with someone online you can make a pretty good
decision whether you want to take it any further.
It's a lot easier to say no online than it is to someone's
and I have searched directories, swingers message
boards (like what's here), posted messages in newsgroups,
and looked through the members profiles on AOL. Those are
just a few of the many resources to look others up.